Saturday, January 28, 2012

Due Date

Elizabeth Grace is due today, but I'm thinking she didn't get that memo, which is more than fine with me. I am thrilled to get to keep her in for as long as possible, although I'm not sure how much longer that will be. I've been dilated to 1 and a half centimeters for at least two weeks now, and Braxton Hicks have been occurring more and more frequently. I have an OB appointment on Monday (if I make it till then), at which point I suspect an induction will be scheduled for some time next week.

So many of you have reached out lately to let me know you are thinking of us and praying. Some have asked for specific needs to lift up, so I thought I’d share some here, as I greatly appreciate the intercession.

~ Strength—spiritual, physical and emotional. I’ve been battling a nasty head cold for the last few days and honestly it’s left me feeling quite weary in each of these areas. I’m claiming 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. His power is made perfect in weakness.

~ Peace—facing so many unknowns and having never charted such territory before, there are many things that I’m simply fearful about right now. Please pray that the Lord would increase mine and Onan’s faith and that we would rely on the peace that only He can give. Pray that we will rest in His plan.

~ For God’s name to be glorified. No matter what the outcome, this needs to be the end result. If Elizabeth experiences a miraculous healing after she is born, then we want the explanation to be God’s supernatural touch and for His name to be made famous. If she experiences ultimate healing by being taken to Heaven, then we want to point to Christ in our grieving and let others know of the hope we have because of Jesus. Either way, His name must be glorified.

Thank you again for praying with us and for us through this time. We are so humbled and so grateful.

Sunday, January 15, 2012


Last weekend my wonderful friends gave me and Elizabeth Grace a beautiful and meaningful "blessing brunch." I was so honored and so humbled by their generosity and sincerity.

Everything was gorgeous!

And delicious...

But the best part was the company! My mom and sis got to be there:

And so did my Mother-in-love:

My highschool BFFs made an 8 hour drive from TN and suprised me!

(that's my side profile "surprised face")

And we cried, of course.

But we laughed too!

We also had a time of prayer (which I SO wish had been photographed, but...I guess we were all praying, ha!). Anyway, it was beautiful and profound and something I will never forget.

I also received many, many incredible gifts.

This might be my favorite. It's a box filled with letters from friends and family. Touching and heartfelt thoughts, prayers, scriptures, songs and poems. I know people must have just poured themselves into it. A treausure.

Some beautiful and unique pieces of jewelry:

Some incredibly special handmade presents...

And Elizabeth received some absolutely gorgeous hand made clothing and blankets as well!

I'm not sure I can express how overwhelmingly loved and cared for that I felt, or how much I felt like Elizabeth was loved and cared for. I have been praising God for the friends that he's placed around me at this time in my life and never before have I been more grateful. Each prayer that you lift up, each encouraging word that you speak to me, every tear that you shed on my behalf--it's all so very deeply appreciated. Thank you, thank you.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Joy and Pain

"There’s only one address anyone lives at and it’s always a duplex: Joy and pain always co-habit every season of life. Accept them both and keep company with the joy while the pain does its necessary renovations." Ann Voskamp

Thank goodness somebody said it. And in her New Year's post, no less! With all the joyous optimism surrounding this new year, I can't help but feel even more isolated in the singular thought that's been hounding me since midnight on Sunday: 2012 will be the year that I likely have to bury a child. All the good feelings and hopeful resolutions that usually accompany the ringing in of a new year have been overshadowed by this reality, especially since it's fast approaching. In the four months since we've received Elizabeth's diagnosis, I've been telling myself that we'd deal with all of that "sad stuff" after the holidays. I just wanted to get through a normal, happy Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years before having to really think about such things as picking out a newborn casket, locating a cemetery, planning a memorial service.

I knew that when I got out a new calendar, I'd have to mark January 28th as my due date, schedule in each of my now weekly OB visits and have a constant, visual reminder that this is the month. One of my mom's token Christmas presents is always a big, pretty brand new calendar. The one she gave me this year has scripture at the top of each page. The verse for this month that I have opened on my fridge displaying my due date and all those OB appointments? "For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13. He always provides the grace. The grace that leads to joy, even in the midst of pain. For they can exist together. So, I go boldly into 2012, into the "sad stuff" that awaits. He's holding my hand.